THE MINDFUL EDIT

Quote of the Day

“No person is free who is not a master of themselves.”

-Epictetus

Shift Into BE-DO-HAVE

I wanted to talk to you about a concept that I think we all fall into at one point or another. It is around shifting from the Have-Do-Be principle, to the Be-Do-Have principle.

Here is an example of what most people do:

“When I have [the perfect relationship, enough money, the family, my dream job], I can then do what I want to do, and then I will be happy.”

The truth is, this way of thinking keeps us stuck. It makes our happiness dependent on something external — something we might not even have yet. We tell ourselves we’ll be happy when we get that next thing, but then it just keeps us chasing, always looking to the future for fulfillment. And I promise you, once you achieve that goal you believe will bring you happiness, another will quickly take its place, becoming the new target to chase. It’s like a carrot dangling in front of you — always just out of reach, constantly moving further away as you get closer. Happiness keeps getting pushed further into the future, always one more step away.

The real key is to flip this whole idea on its head. It’s not about having something first — it’s about starting from within. Happiness is something we can feel right now, in this moment. No external achievement or possession can create lasting fulfillment.

To truly transform, we need to shift to the BE-DO-HAVE principle: BE the person you want to be NOW, DO the things that align with who you are, and naturally, you’ll HAVE the life you desire.

But here's the catch — it all happens in the present. Not the past, not the future. Right now. This moment is where your power lies. You need to make the choice to BE who you desire to be. It is available to you right now.

You are not defined by what has happened to you, and you don’t have to wait for some future version of yourself to be happy. You can choose to change your story, your definitions, and your beliefs now.

When we focus on being who we want to be first, everything else falls into place naturally. You are enough, just as you are, and the life you want is waiting for you to start living it today.

Take a moment to write out the character of the ideal version of yourself — the person you truly desire to be. How do they act? How do they feel each day? What do they do, and how do they show up in the world? Dive deep into the details: who are they at their core? What are their passions, their hobbies, and how do they nurture their relationships? What behaviors define them, and how do they handle life’s ups and downs?

Now, ask yourself: how can you start showing up today as that person? What small shifts can you make right now that remind you happiness, success, and fulfillment are born within, not from external circumstances? How can you find moments of joy and peace in your current situation? Start living in alignment with that vision of yourself today — happiness is already here, waiting for you to embrace it.

With love and gratitude,

Stephanie

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Episode 18: How to Start on Your Healing Journey

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