THE MINDFUL EDIT

Quote of the Day

"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom."

-Aristotle

You are who you choose to be.

I've often seen the phrase, “You are the average of the five people you surround yourself with,” and I want to add my perspective because I don’t think it’s fair to blame where we are solely on the people around us. While there's truth to it—we do subconsciously absorb the beliefs and attitudes of those close to us, sometimes even dimming our light to fit in—the real focus should be on ourselves. Knowing ourselves deeply enough to stay true to who we are, regardless of who is around us, is the real power.

It’s less about whether others affect us, and more about becoming aware of how they affect us. Do you notice yourself shrinking around certain people? Do you act in ways that don’t align with who you want to be? Do you feel drained after spending time with certain people, or are you left feeling uplifted and inspired?

When we’re aware of these feelings, we can start setting boundaries. We can choose to lead by example, letting our positive energy influence others, or we can distance ourselves from relationships that no longer resonate—not to match the “average of the five people,” but to focus on being our best selves.

By consciously choosing who we spend time with, we can rise above and shift the dynamic, rather than letting it define us. As we grow, we may notice some relationships start feeling one-sided or draining—and that’s okay. This is often a sign of personal growth.

Lately, I’ve been rewatching The OC, and it made me think of Ryan. He genuinely wants to be good, but when he’s around people who bring out his worst impulses, he often follows suit. His real challenge isn’t the people; it’s his self-control and commitment to himself. If you’re finding certain relationships unfulfilling, it might be time to stop blaming others and ask why you keep putting yourself in situations that don’t serve you.

True strength comes from inner resolve—staying grounded in our values, regardless of what’s happening around us, and making choices that align with who we want to be.

Instead of focusing on the five people physically around you, try choosing five people you admire (they don’t need to be people you know) who embody qualities and habits you respect. Because we’re a byproduct of the habits and mindset we hold.

Observe what makes them stand out: their traits, habits, how they show up, their character, their actions. Write it all out. Then find those same qualities within yourself, because we can only recognize in others what we already have within us. Next, make a list of action items—behaviors and habits you want to adopt to bring those qualities to life.

Reflect on your current relationships. Who uplifts you? Who drains you? Where do you feel misaligned? What types of relationships feel right for you? And where might you need to set some boundaries?

As you grow, you’ll naturally attract relationships that resonate with your path and find yourself more connected to those who inspire and uplift you. Like my wedding song Lifetime by Justin Bieber says, “Some people bring you a million blessings. Some people teach you a million lessons. Some people come in your life for a reason, others they come in your life for a season.”

Ultimately, this process isn’t about changing those around you—it’s about developing a strong inner compass that guides you in creating a support system aligned with your vision. When you consistently return to your true self, you attract people who grow alongside you, and your life becomes a reflection of who you really are.

With love and gratitude,

Stephanie

20. You’re Not Lost, Just Living From an Old Belief System

This marks a big milestone for the podcast. I read that 90% of podcasts don’t get past episode 3 and of the remaining 10%, 90% don’t make it to 20.

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